Chicken Cordon Bleu it ain't

Aren’t weekends lovely… nothing to do but lay around and be lazy, or in my case, be miserably sick and still cleaning carpets because the dog got them muddy. Is anyone looking for a large, horse-like dog or a small, cuddly but still supremely annoying cat? (Just kidding, mostly). So, now that the carpets no longer resemble a barn floor. I can relax and play a little catch –up.

Friday Menu: Brunch: Cheesy Sausage and Hash Brown Bake and Fresh Fruit Dinner: Chicken Cordon Bleu, Green Beans, Corn and Rolls

I would like to say for the record that Friday dinner was not prepared by me. It was a special week, and the boys were doing dinner for themselves Friday night. They just asked me to pick up the groceries for them while I was at the store. Now you might think, Chicken Cordon Bleu, pretty fancy for a bunch of frat boys. Well, clearly you haven’t been to Sam’s Club lately. In the freezer section they have these frozen, prepared chicken things they call chicken cordon bleu. I’ve had the stuff before, and it’s not terrible. But to say that this frozen chicken product is the same as real chicken cordon bleu is like saying mahogany and MDF are the same thing. Funny enough, the “chicken” in Sam’s chicken cordon bleu has about the same consistency and amount of taste as MDF...

The only bonus I could see to getting these as opposed to making chicken cordon bleu yourself is that these make fart sounds when you press them and they poop out cheese. I’m not kidding. If you can stand paying $13 for 6 mediocre frozen chicken patties stuffed with cheese product and ham, buy them. Heat them up, and then poke ‘em a couple times. They are sure to amuse your inner frat boy.

If however you want to experience the delight of real chicken cordon bleu (which is actually relatively simple to make). See below. This recipe will be in standard family size as I haven’t adapted it for frat use yet. Maybe I’ll make it next semester…

Super Easy Chicken Cordon Bleu (sorry, no fart sounds included)
Serves 4

4 Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
4 slices of Ham (8 if they are thin sliced)
4 slices of Swiss Cheese
2 Eggs
1 cup Bread Crumbs
2 tbsp Butter, melted
½ tsp dried Thyme
½ tsp Garlic Powder
½ tsp Paprika
Salt and Pepper

Preheat oven to 350. Between 2 sheets of wax paper, gently pound the chicken breasts to ¼ inch thick taking care not to tear or rip holes in the chicken. Place a slice (or two if thin sliced) ham on each chicken breast and top with a slice of swiss cheese. Roll the each chicken breast into a tight jellyroll-like shape and tuck ends in. Secure with a toothpick. Beat eggs and season with salt and pepper. Mix together bread crumbs, garlic, thyme, paprika, salt and pepper. Dip the chicken breasts into the eggs, and then roll in bread crumb mixture until coated. Place chicken breasts in a greased baking dish. Bake for 20-25 minutes until golden brown and cooked through.

* Note: If you really want to get fancy, you could trade the ham and swiss for prosciutto and gruyere. Or, you could do cooked slices of bacon and smoked gouda… the possibilities are endless.